Whether you’re on a cougar hunt or just like your women the way you like your wine (aged to perfection), it’s a good idea to remember that dating outside your age range can bring some serious confusion. While a ten year difference might not mean much if you’re forty-nine and she’s fifty-nine, when you’re twenty-eight and she’s thirty-eight it’s not just a different playing field, it’s a totally different sport. But we’ve got you covered with a few tips to live by when dating a lady outside your league’s timeslot.
1. Never ask her age.
This rule applies to most women, no matter what age, but is especially important here. Fact is, you know she’s older than you and she knows you’re younger than her. You don’t need to drive it home or bring it up. Chances are she will now and then, usually as part of a compliment (depending on the age difference, you might expect to be called “cute,” the same way she’d talk about a puppy), but when you bring it up it’s just a reminder that she’s had more mileage than you.
2. Bring something to the table.
Make sure you have your shit together before you even try to step up to the plate, or she’ll never even spare you a second glance. If you get to talking about life, you’d better have some long term goals and a place you want to be in ten years – but, and we wish this went without saying but unfortunately it doesn’t, never ever talk about what you want out of life using the phrase “by the time I’m your age.” Seriously, dude, just make sure you know what you want and have an idea how to get there, and you’re one step closer to bagging the big one.
3. Accept that she has a life apart from you.
For girls, the boyfriend usually takes precedence over everything else. They’ll call off parties, skip meetings, and rack up huge cell phone bills making sure that their guy knows they’re the most important thing in their life. But you’re not after a girl, you’re after a lady. Ladies, my friend, have had plenty of extra time to settle into their own lives and interests. They have their own priorities, and to start with you don’t fall very high on that list. If you’re really important, you’ll move up, and she’ll rearrange things to make it happen. But don’t push – she’s been in this game a lot longer than you, she has her own strategies and plays already. Deal with it or go home.
4. Be confident, but not arrogant.
Face it, any lady over thirty has run this gamut before. She’s probably been through more guys than you have girls, and doesn’t have the time or the inclination to deal with the posturing college chicks flock after. This doesn’t mean a mature woman wants a man who wilts at the first sign of resistance–try exploding at her for “Friend Zoning” you and be prepared to be laughed all the way out of the park. Stand up straight, be firm in your convictions, and be the man she’s looking for in a forest full of boys.
5. Drop the labels.
Just do it. Seriously. Stop using words like “cougar” and “MILF” as much as possible, and never use them around her. While some ladies are flattered by them, most of them would sooner step on your face than be referred to that way in earshot.
And with that, happy hunting!