Dating Sites: Good for All (Adult) Ages
Any decent dating site doesn’t have an age restriction. The good ones are run by people who like getting anyone’s money and also happen to get a warm glow whenever their clients start a successful relationship. Between that and the fact that dating has gotten harder for everyone, especially people above about thirty-two, you just might be in your forties and looking for love as found by an algorithm based on answers to a hundred or more questions. There’s some etiquette you need to know, though. Dating isn’t the same as it was back in your day, though you could probably apply some of those techniques if you decide to become a pickup artist—and PUAs aren’t actually looking for love, just to get laid.
Don’t Be a Lame Old Guy
There are plenty of women interested in guys in their forties. You could even score with a nineteen-year-old, if you’re interested in a relationship with a barely-legal teenager. Hey, we don’t judge, as long as she is legal. But they’re not going to be interested if you say your hobbies are golf, fishing, and driving your bright red, penis-substitute, midlife crisis sports car. If those legitimately are your only hobbies, find new ones. Even bird-watching is more likely to attract women.
Don’t Be a Creepy Old Guy, Either
You know the type, even if you either aren’t one or don’t realize you’re one. The type of guy your age who makes gay jokes and talks about how blondes are dumb and redheads are partiers, so don’t ever go for brunettes. Ladies are smarter than you think. Give them some credit, even if you are creepy, and don’t aim it at them. That’s just gross.
Don’t Lie About Your Age
This should be basic, but women we know have complained about it. They’ve gotten what looks like a promising result, he’s listed as being young enough for her… and then she gets the picture and can tell he’s over forty, when she wants thirty-five, tops. It’s a great way to not get dates; we’ll give you that, but if you’re looking for love, cut that out and leave yourself available to chicks interested in your age bracket.
Don’t Think You’re the “One Exception” to a Woman’s Desired Age
This goes with the above one, except it’s stupid in an entirely different way. Instead of lying and having the site spit out your name for some hopeful woman, it involves crawling the site for attractive prospects (because you’re assuming you’re entitled to a twenty-two-year-old babe if you do this) and sending messages to chicks you think are attractive, totally ignoring the ages they say they’re interested in. Seriously, just don’t do it. Women will not message you back, you will not get a trophy wife out of it, and you need to grow into your age before you should be allowed back on dating sites.
No One Wants Dick Shots, Especially Not Her
You should have learned this one from Anthony Weiner, who has probably the most unfortunate name ever for his scandal. If you send a dick shot, she will stop talking to you, unless she specifically asked for it—and we’ve never met a woman who just asks for dick shots. We guess it could be some chick’s fetish, and more power to her, we don’t judge. But it’s not something the average lady’s going to want. Not only will she be pissed as hell, she’ll also report you to the site, and then you have no one to send your dick shots to. There’s also the minor detail that it may be considered a crime in some municipalities, just flashing your dick at any woman you come across. There should be online flasher laws just for this kind of thing.