Make Sure the Trust is There
Ladies love having a boyfriend. Why shouldn’t they? We love having girlfriends; it’s only fair that it go both ways. But just like we like knowing we can count on our girlfriends, they want to know they can trust us. Most of them aren’t going to relax until they can, and we can’t blame them for it. Why would she want to think she’s dating some douche? Read our tips for making sure she trusts you to help your relationship along.
Be Upfront About Your Background
Sure, this is easier if you know each other as friends first; that means there’s less to tell. But if you’re not going to man up enough to tell her stuff when she doesn’t already know your life story, you have a sadly limited dating pool, and it’s eventually going to run dry.
It’s not that big a deal, anyway. Early on, tell her about your dating background and mention casually something like, “Tina and I are still friends, even though that ended years ago,” or whatever. You want your new girlfriend to know she doesn’t need to worry—and besides, she’ll be pissed when she finds out about you and Tina from another friend or, worse, from Tina herself.
Be Frank About What You Want
If you’re not looking for forever, don’t tell her you are. If you lie about it, then when one of your friends asks how much longer she thinks you’ll be together, you only have yourself to blame for an embarrassing breakup. On the other hand, if you’re ready to potentially commit, don’t lie either. That might kind of freak her out, especially if she’s young, but it’s better that she knows where you stand than that she think you have an open relationship and she’s dating some frat guy every night she’s not with you.
If You Have to Cancel Plans, Tell the Truth
If you have to skip a date, tell her as soon as you know. Tell her why too; don’t hope it’s never going to come up that, actually, your hot sister-in-law needs help dealing with a sleazy mechanic. (It would probably help if you drop the “hot” part and mention that she’s your sister’s wife, not your brother’s. If she is your brother’s wife, you still need to skip the “hot” part.) Set up a basis for that before it happens. At the beginning of your relationship, tell her, “I might have to cancel sometimes, but I’ll always tell you why and as early as I can.” If you can’t do that, you need to learn how to date from some high school freshman.
Watch Your Wording, Though
You don’t need to tell her that her ass totally looks fat in those jeans. Then you’re a douche. If she asks what you think of her sister, and you think her sister is an awful excuse for humanity, tell her, “I don’t think we’ll get along, but I’ll play nice.” If you’re lucky, that’s where she tells you she hates her sister and you’ll see her as little as possible.
It’s a Mirror Thing
Basically, what would you want—a girlfriend who lies, avoids, and doesn’t keep things above board, or one who’s honest with you, but decent about what she says? If you want the former, then sure, you can act that way. Just don’t be surprised when you get dumped repeatedly.