The nutcase test: if you answer yes to more than one of these questions, you’re probably dating a crazy chick
Let’s face it; there are a lot of crazy people out there. A lot of them are guys, sure, but you won’t be dating them! Here’s a quick test to see if the girl of your dreams is likely to turn out to be a nightmare.
1. Does she ask you where you’ve been a lot?
One of the biggest indicators of the crazy girlfriend is that she asks where you’ve been every time you’re away from her for more than a couple minutes. It doesn’t matter if you went to gas up the car or spent three hours at Applebee’s, she wants to know where you were, who you were with, and why you didn’t call her. All girls do this when they’re feeling insecure in a relationship, so if she starts small and then calms down, don’t worry. This is normal. If she starts asking every day—or more than once a day—then you’re probably in trouble. The best thing to do here is ask, why she’s so worried when you leave, or, if you say yes to more of these questions, run away now!
2. Has she ever asked you what you think of her friends?
If your girl ever asks anything like “Do you think any of my friends are hotter than me?” or “If you could date one of my friends, which one would you date?” then it’s a good idea to run, not walk, to the nearest breakup recovery center. The worst part of this question is that there’s no right answer, and no matter what you say the crazy girl will use it against you and play the victim. If you don’t nip this one in the bud and back away slowly, chances are you’ll be playing damage control for the rest of the relationship. Be prepared for arguments about all the ways you supposedly think she’s not as sexy as Jessica.
3. Does she overreact when she sees you with another woman?
Not even romantically, but any other woman? Is this girl the kind that needs foot massages and chocolate to “make it up to her” after you go to your sister’s birthday party? Does she explode when you want Christmas dinner with your mom instead of her family? Even though you’ve only been dating a week? Run away and don’t look back. This will escalate until she doesn’t even want you looking at the cashier at the grocery store or talking to your female landlord.
4. Does she text you more than anyone else? Whether you want her to or not?
Is your phone buzzing like a swarm of angry bees? The psycho girlfriend will text you as often as she can, and when you stop responding to her texts she’ll call you no matter where you are. Have fun explaining to your proctologist why you absolutely have to take this call, or turn off the phone and end the relationship.
5. Does she hate when you have fun without her?
Even if she doesn’t want to go to your favorite band’s first concert on their reunion tour, she’ll be furious that you had fun without her. She wants a way to prove that you need her to enjoy your life, and if you don’t provide it, be ready for spontaneous combustion of the female temper. She can be out of the country for a college trip, and she’ll be mad that you hit the beach with your friends.
Sound like someone you know? Or worse, the girl you’re dating? Talking it over probably isn’t worth the effort—get out while you can.