Some questions have no good answers. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t in those situations. Answering affirmatively could make you seem like you’re looking for things that you aren’t. Answering negatively could make you seem cold. ″Do you want kids″ is a question that leaves most men wanting to run for the hills or totally at a loss. What do you do when the question comes up? The best thing is to try to just avoid the issue. We’ve pulled out some ways to go about dodging the baby bullet, at least for the time being.
Instead of spitting out your entree and gaping at your date like a fish you need to swallow your food and breathe. The best thing to do in this sort of situation is to play nonchalant about the whole issue. If this is a new or first date small brushoffs and topic avoidance are to be expected. Try to keep your answers something like ″You know, I’ve never really thought about it″ or ″I’m just focusing on work right now.″ Statements like these make it fairly easy dodge the baby questions for a first or second date. If the relationship is new and the topic is just starting to boil to the surface you should be fine smothering it with a very basic, noncommittal brush-off. Try to immediately change the topic to working or a hobby so you can save face.
If She Presses
Maybe the brushoff didn’t work for you the first time. She’s coming back and asking again if you’ve ever considered having children. You’ll have to dodge the question a little harder this time. ″I really don’t know, it’s just not important to me right now.″ is a good way to confront the question. Talk about how you want to get yourself a secure job into or purchase a home before you even consider that sort of thing. By setting up long term goals before you are open to the baby conversation you aren’t directly saying no, but you should be shutting the topic down.
You may also want to say that this isn’t a topic that you are really comfortable discussing with someone you’re not in a long term dedicated relationship with. It’s a bit of a mouthful, but by saying it that way you are establishing some boundaries that she should respect. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down. No one likes to get confrontational on a date, particularly a first date. But if she won’t let the topic drop then she needs to know where your boundaries are. Explaining to her that this isn’t something you want to discuss doesn’t have to be rude, but you should be firm. ″I’m not ready to talk about something this important. I’m not looking for that in a date.″ is the sort of thing that you need to convey to her. If she’s really drilling you about kids very early into the relationship, she may just not be what you’re looking for.