Emotions are Sexy, and Other Reasons Women Love Vulnerable Men
You probably wouldn’t know it if you read the beginning of most romance novels (hey, it was that or listen to our sisters talk about them more—now we can at least shut them up), but women love vulnerable men. Read a little further in most of these books and the guys start to have emotions beyond stoic and silent. (We know silence isn’t an emotion, but some of these authors made it seem like it was.) The reasons are simpler than you think.
Women Want to Think You Feel Things
Of course they know we feel things, but the way guys act with women, it’s usually more like, “That burrito burned a hole through my stomach,” than admitting to being upset or even hurt. We want them to think we’re strong, since that’s what it always seems like they want; they want to know we react to things like they might. Its part of seeing us as human, instead of some alien race that somehow furthers their species. And if we admit that something upsets us, then it’s okay for them to show us they’re upset—and that’s important, since a lot of women seem incredibly embarrassed every time they start tearing up near a new guy.
Women See It as Give-and-Take
The way most of us were raised, our fathers did most of the work outside the home; our mothers did most of it inside. Our fathers shut down when they got home, our mothers took up the emotional slack. And the thing is, women were raised the same way—except that they processed it differently. Instead of seeing it as a good thing to shut down emotionally, they see it as a good thing to share emotions. They also see it as better for a relationship when both parties are emotionally invested. We can’t say they’re wrong. It’s not enough to just say you’re emotionally invested though; you have to show it.
Tears Are Manly
But that doesn’t mean you have to cry. You don’t have to hide it from them if you want to, but no one’s going to blame you for not actually doing it. Just let them know that something’s getting you down. It’s better than looking like a machine programmed to never feel pain.
There Are Good Emotions Too, You Know
Not every emotion involves getting pissed off that you can’t fix whatever it is so it stops hurting. There are the ones that really are sexy—enjoyment, happiness, the ability to have fun and show it. They’re all ones we love on ladies. She wants to know that you’re invested, and the easiest way to show that is to be more open about how much you enjoy being with her. And then there’s the L-word, which you’re probably able to say after a while—but how is she going to know you mean it if you don’t show it?