Free Dating Sites – Suck
Here’s a dirty little secret that free services won’t tell you: they all suck.
And they suck worse when they’re online. Want proof? Log onto your email—not the company one, the free Hotmail account. Find the spam folder. Open it. Look at just how much spam has come from seemingly-legitimate addresses, if you’ll notice, are all from free email services.
Has your love and/or sex life been kind of sad lately? Are you thinking about actually settling down, or at least getting into a relationship that lasts beyond three trips to your bedroom that don’t even include a meal? It has for at least one of us, so we tested out this “free services suck” theory of ours.
We went to a free dating site (we won’t name it, just in case someone gets pissed or challenges us to prove it beyond this article) and created an account. All the information was faked; we based it on a combination of us, a mix of good and bad traits. For the picture it asked for, we all took face-forward, smiling pictures, then blended them on a site to come up with a reasonably attractive guy. Finished creating the account then waited.
When there were no replies within the first five minutes, we all went back to work, since we have better things to do than staring at a free Yahoo account. (We did get five spam messages in that time, though). We would have actually gone through all the listings, but we didn’t have that much time for our experiment.
Within two hours, we had a reply from one Amanda Slater. We all gathered to read this Amanda Slate’s information. Could she possibly be worth it?
Amanda Slater: Twenty-three, natural blonde, green eyes, 36-23-36. She sounded too good to be true. So we kept reading and got to her occupation line. She “performs consulting services for a variety of executives and upper management”.
Yeah, our first hit? An escort, one we couldn’t afford, we found out when we Google her, even if we all pitched in.
The next hit was a clearly fake account. That one led to ten, which led to thirty, which led to eighty. All fake accounts, all from free email providers, all with nearly-identical information and photos clearly bought from a stock site.
We went back to the site near the end of the second day of the flood of fake accounts. We still had them coming in. We noticed the banner ads this time: “Hot Asian Women Looking for Love!” and “Gorgeous Blondes Want You!”
We weren’t stupid enough to risk a work or decent personal computer clicking the ads. Instead, we scrounged up a computer the tech guy had stored in a closet, one that still ran Windows NT, and went back to the site. It took forever, by the way.
When we clicked the links, we found women who matched nearly all the fake accounts we’d found. Oh, and the tech guy yelled at us the next day. He said we’d gotten a virus, ten pieces of malware, and a couple adware programs on this machine. We’re not sure why he cared about that thing, but we are glad that we didn’t use one of our computers.
Bottom line, if you want to use a free site, we can’t stop you. But we do suggest you take a breathalyzer test to make sure you’re capable of making such decisions.